Brooks Michael | Michael is the coordinator for Carilion Clinic’s Teen Pregnancy Prevention Project and parent education coordinator for the Roanoke County Prevention Council
I am writing with a few comments about the power parents have to influence whether or not their teens and pre-teens engage in risky behavior. In my years of experience working in prevention of risky behaviors of Roanoke area adolescents, there has been one consistent theme: Parents have the greatest influence on whether or not their child engages in risky behaviors. Yes, teens are influenced by the media. True, they are influenced by their peers and siblings. But the greatest influence they receive is right at home from mom and dad.
So now that we are aware of how influential parents are, what is next? First, parents need to understand that during these challenging adolescent years, they need to function in their role as a parent, not as their child’s friend. The opportunity to be their friend will come down the road. A parent’s No. 1 job is to protect their children, keep them safe. As a parent, it is our job to get our children from childhood to adulthood as safely as possible.
Second, talk to your children about risky behaviors such as underage drinking, sexual activity and drug use. Turn off the television, walk away from the computer and set down the Blackberry. And just to be clear, this is not a one- time conversation. Just as important as talking to your kids is listening to them. When your children talk to you, read between the lines. Are you really hearing what they are saying?
Finally, there are many daily things we can do as families to reduce the likelihood our children will engage in risky behaviors. Eat dinner together as often as possible. Know your children’s friends and their families; know who they are spending their time with. Limit cellphone and computer use, especially late at night. With rapid changes in technology, our children live in a different world than we did. As parents, we have to keep up. Be a good role model because your children will grow up to be like you. They watch how you handle situations and learn from you how to respond. And last but not least, set clear rules and boundaries and follow through with consequences that are consistent and meaningful. Children may not always agree with you, but children want rules and boundaries. Many studies indicate this to be true.
I urge all parents in our community to do their part to be involved in their adolescent’s life and show them a successful road for the future. Your influence is the greatest of all, and your kids are counting on you.



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